


i don't want to miss a thing

by maybankiara (juggyjones)



Series: jiara july 2020 [3]
Category: Outer Banks (TV)
Genre: (kind of), Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Road Trip, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, JJ Drives The Twinkie, JJ has abandonment issues, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:28:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25615879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/juggyjones/pseuds/maybankiara
Summary: With one hour left to Appalachian State University, Kiara puts her phone away. JJ doesn’t look at her, but he can tell even from the corner of his eyes that there’s some wheels turning in her head.She nods to herself at some point, her posture going rigid. ‘Okay. We are going to talk about this.’He should’ve known this was coming. ‘There’s nothing to talk about.’— in which jj drives kiara off to college, and he's not completely okay with that.[jiara week 2020: day 4; destination]
Relationships: JJ Maybank/Kiara Carrera
Series: jiara july 2020 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1849519
Comments: 13
Kudos: 65
Collections: Jiara July Jubilee





	i don't want to miss a thing

**Author's Note:**

> hello! here's me with a jiara week fic that's day late because inspiration and motivation went on a honeymoon. this is a little bit of angst in the beginning but it's mostly really fluffy, especially by the end, and there's a few lines that made my heart go _whoop_. i know this is shortish but i'm proud that i even finished it, 'cause i wasn't going to.
> 
> title from _i don't want to miss a thing_ by aerosmith (duh).  
> (sidenote: the lyrics of this song are as if they were written for jj in this fic.)

For once in his life, JJ is quiet.

Kiara isn’t a big fan of that.

‘How do you feel about some music?’

She reaches into her backpack and takes out her phone. JJ watches her from the corner of his eye, attention fixed on the road ahead, and all he gives in response is a vague hand gesture that not even he is sure what it’s supposed to mean.

_Long Train Runnin’_ by the Doobie Brothers starts playing. Usually, Kiara is more into the likes of Bob Marley, Bob Dylan, and probably any other Bob there is. JJ is into rock, but something that borders on punk, or metal – this is something they both agree on, and he’s thankful for that.

This is good. This is familiar.

(JJ could use a good, healthy dose of _familiar_ right now.)

‘Want me to take over?’ asks Kiara, nodding at the steering wheel.

He glances at her, shaking his head. ‘I’m good.’

John B’s car comes to a halt at a red light, and lets JJ take a breather. He rests his elbow on the side, hanging his hand out of the window. The breeze is there, with no salt to it, no freshness, and it only reminds him that they aren’t in Kildare anymore.

Kiara turns around in her seat and the Twinkie screeches. The red light is long enough for her to take sandwiches out of the back, give him one and take one for herself.

JJ’s touch is light when he pushes her hand away.

‘You haven’t eaten anything today.’

He starts the car, foot on the gas and hand in his hair, still leaning against the door. ‘It’s still early.’

‘Yeah,’ says Kiara, ‘except that we’ve already been up for six hours.’

She holds the sandwich in her hand again, somehow in a way that, to JJ, screams _i am not backing down from this_ , so he sighs, and asks her if she can unwrap it for him. She’s delighted at this, bobbing her head to the beat of the song as she gives him the sandwich. JJ munches on it with one hand on the wheel, occasionally taking a sip from the hydroflask between them. Kiara entertains herself on her phone, typing away – probably updating Sarah and the pogues on how things are going.

With one hour left to Appalachian State University, Kiara puts her phone away. JJ doesn’t look at her, but he can tell even from the corner of his eyes that there’s some wheels turning in her head. 

She nods to herself at some point, her posture going rigid. ‘Okay. We are going to talk about this.’

He should’ve known this was coming. ‘There’s nothing to talk about.’

‘So you’re perfectly fine with me being gone for almost three months?’ asks Kiara. ‘Not bothering you at all? Not the reason why you’ve been moody since you woke up?’

‘I’m moody ‘cause I couldn’t sleep well, ‘cause you kept stirring against me the whole night.’

‘Deflecting doesn’t help your case, JJ.’

In the rearview mirror, he checks for the traffic, then overpasses the car in front of him, hitting quite a bit over the speed limit. There’s a table overhead that he sees in a flash, saying they’ve got thirty miles until they reach the city. The hand on the wheel grows stiff.

They drive for a short bit with no words and no music. JJ’s face is sour which he knows Kiara is aware of, even if she decided that talking to him about the whole thing isn’t the way to go.

With fifteen miles left, JJ’s unease grows, and he can no longer sit still.

There’s a hand on his thigh, gripping it slightly. He glances at his girlfriend – Kiara is giving him the softest smile he’s ever seen, even if he can tell she still hasn’t let go of what happened earlier.

‘You don’t have to be worried about me, JJ,’ she tells him, voice gentle and earnest. ‘I’m a big girl. I’ll be okay on my own.’

Reluctantly, JJ takes one hand off the wheel and places it over Kiara’s smaller one. The touch is enough to send a sense of calm through him – what is he going to do without her?

So he sighs, gives her hand a squeeze. ‘I’m not worried about you, Kie. I don’t doubt for a _second_ that you’re going to have anything but an amazing time.’

‘What is it, then?’

JJ feels her rest her head on his shoulders, smelling like fresh coconut from washing her hair before they left this morning. He presses his lips against the crown of her head, wishing the moment could last longer.

He wants her hand to remain in his for as long as they’re both alive – the sense of calm and security is what only she can give him, and he’s not ready—or willing—to give up on that just yet.

‘What if you have such an amazing time that you forget about me? About the pogues?’

The road is straight, and he’s staring down it as if his life depended on it.

‘JJ—’

‘You asked, Kie,’ he says, not looking at her. He feels his jaw tense and he relaxes it, forcefully. ‘I’m sorry you don’t like the answer.’

‘I don’t like it because it’s bullshit. I could never just _forget_ you. Or the pogues.’

‘You say that now.’ JJ glances at her with a half smile with no cheerfulness in it, before darting his eyes back at the road. ‘Look, home isn’t great, we all know that. The constant shitty war between us and the kooks, it is what it is. Life on the Cut is a fuckin’ disaster, you and Pope both are leaving the island, and John B and I are stuck there, working our asses off with no end in sight. It’s not something you want for the rest of your life, and I know you’ll figure it out sooner or later.’

There a beat of dead silence, and then—

‘Stop the car.’

JJ stares at her. ‘Kiara, we’re on the highway—’

‘Get off. There’s an exit coming up.’

‘What are you—’

_‘Now,_ JJ!’

He spins the wheel fast enough for the tires to squeal, and Kiara’s hands shoot up onto the handlebar above her head. The exit is in a sharp turn and someone honks at them and JJ mutters an apology as they take off the highway onto a smaller road. She’s still quiet as he pulls up at the small gas station at the very beginning of the road, parking behind it.

Then she turns around to him, and he can’t read her face.

‘I know you’re not an idiot so don’t act like one, JJ.’ Her voice is stern and powerful, enough to make JJ think she’s close to having an outburst. ‘You know how much you mean to me, right? You and Pope and John B and Sarah?’

JJ nods, but reluctantly, and only because it’s asked of him.

Kiara purses her lips, eyebrows furrowed. ‘I love the island. I love the Cut. I love the way I feel when I'm with you guys, and the fact that it’s bad sometimes, the fact that it has ups and downs, that’s _why_ I love it. And I know—’ She cuts herself off, pulling her lips into her mouth. Her eyes soften and she lets out a shaky breath, regaining her composure. ‘I know your experience of the place is different, but the island is my home. _You_ are my home. I’m not giving up on it.’

He wants to remark that she should _stop being so emotional_ , or that home can change, but this is Kiara – Kiara Carrera, the girl who cares so much about the people she loves that kindness oozes out of her, and her biggest flaw is that she wants to help everybody even when they don’t really need it.

JJ’s back relaxes into the door and his head falls against the glass, letting out a small thud. He isn’t crying—he’s too exhausted for that—but he feels like it.

He’s never been anyone’s home. The idea of being Kiara’s is almost more than he can bear – except it isn’t.

He _understands_ it.

When he opens his eyes and they meet hers, he’s surprised to find gentle and soft and _worried_ , a stark contrast from the power in her words.

JJ reaches forward and plants a kiss on her lips; a brief touch of sincerest intimacy, and a promise to the both of them.

‘Okay,’ he whispers. ‘I trust you. If you say nothing will change, then I _trust_ you, dammit.’

Her arms wrap themselves around him until they’re chest against chest, burying heads into each other’s shoulders. JJ holds her close and he holds her tight, eyes squeezed shut against her collarbone.

There’s a difference between saying _i love you_ and _you are my home_ , and JJ thinks that maybe they have been the latter for as long as they’ve been the former. When he thinks of home, there’s always _Kiara_ , and that’s the way it’s been for years now.

He doesn’t say _you're my home, too_ , because he’s JJ Maybank and he doesn’t do shit like that. Instead he just holds her a little longer, and rests his forehead against hers.

‘What am I going to do without you?’

Kiara chuckles, and it sounds a little wet, as if she’s laughing through tears. ‘As long as you’re still alive and mobile when I get back, I’m alright with anything.’

He smiles, for what feels like the first time today. ‘I wish I could come up.’

‘It’s too expensive, JJ. Takes too long. We talked about this.’

‘I know, it’s just…’ He sighs, looking into her eyes as he pulls back, his thumb brushing her cheek. ‘I’m going to miss you.’

‘Don’t get emotional on me, JJ,’ jokes Kiara, laughing at his eye roll. ‘We’ll be okay. It’s just a few months.’

‘Over and over again.’

Kiara pouts with a finger jabbed into his chest, shaking her head. ‘Nu- _uh_ , buddy, we’re not getting pessimistic here. Who are you to think about things so far in the future, anyway?’ She slaps his face lightly with a smile in hers. Chin up, buttercup. We’ve got a long day ahead of us.’

JJ sighs. ‘Do I really have to meet your roommate?’

She quirks an eyebrow at him. ‘Do you _want_ to stay with me tonight?’

‘Fair. Meeting roommate Miss Terry it is, then.’

JJ starts the car, turning around to get back on the highway, as Kiara pretends to scold him about making puns of her roommate’s name. Everything feels a little lighter from then on, with laughter filling out every inch of the beat-up van. They pull up in front of Kiara’s dorm about half an hour later and he helps her pack all her belongings. Terry turns out to be a lovely girl with a spunk that reminds him a lot of Kiara, and they seem to click the moment he leaves for a second to go to the bathroom.

Most of their day is taken by exploring Boone, and asking strangers to take photos of them (even if JJ tries to ruin every single one of them by goofing out). It’s a lovely town, and his heart sings every time he sees Kiara’s face light up at something they discover. It’s a hand-in-hand walk, and JJ realises how freezing it is to be in a sea of strangers with the girl he loves. 

They end up spending the night together, as planned, and it’s all cuddles and silent promises over takeout from an independent restaurant. Terry is away at a party and doesn’t come back until noon, and by then, JJ is already on the road.

He kisses Kiara before he leaves, early in the morning. His hands play with the ends of her hair, twirling the curls around his fingers.

‘Once I’ve made enough money, I’ll be here at least once a month,’ he tells her.

Kiara smiles, covering his hand with hers. ‘Don’t be stupid, JJ. It’s too expensive and takes too much time.’

‘ _Kie,_ ’ is all he says, and he can tell she understands this is indisputable.

‘Fine. But wait for me, will you? Don’t go being stupid because your self control is at university.’

‘Both self controls,’ JJ jokes. ‘Pope’s also going to be away.’

‘God, you and John B are going to annihilate the _shit_ out of the island.’

‘They better watch out, then.’ JJ gives her the biggest grin his face allows, and kisses the tip of her nose. ‘I’ll see you on facetime when I get home.’

She nods and hugs him harder than he’d think it possible for a girl of her stature. ‘Drive safe.’

‘Never,’ he says, and pulls out of the hug.

The Twinkie awaits as it always does, smelling like a mixture of weed, alcohol, the chateau, and the beach. He can now smell coconut, too, as he waves at Kiara through the window, and she blows him a kiss.

_three months isn’t a long time,_ he thinks as he loses her out of sight, when not even the rearview mirror is enough. _we’ll be okay._

He gets onto the highway, and the Twinkie sets out for home.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading, i hope you enjoyed it! you can come hang out with me on [tumblr](https://maybankiara.tumblr.com). i post loads of shorter jiara fics on there.


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